I have lots of dreams...from the age of eight it was to be a writer. So, I am a writer. But, now I want more. I want to be a published writer! I've written three books. I queried out letters for only one. The replies were not too embarrassing. No one wrote back and intimated that I should pick a new career path. Instead, I was told to learn the art of writing a query. Guess that told me what was thought of my first attempt at such a thing. My heart pounded when I sent them out and then I said that it was up to fate. Fate decided I needed to brush up on my query. In the meantime, I wrote another book. Now I'm thinking this one ... this new book, is the one.
My first book attempt was Hidden Hearts, a contemporary romance. I think that a lot of the fighting and heartache that occur between lovers is that they misunderstand the signals, the words, the gestures, the looks. When they don't communicate properly ... all sorts of tension is created. A good romance has tension, lots of it, and then ... when the anticipation of reconciliation is at its peak, when you are racing along waiting, waiting for them to realize their misunderstanding, wanting that tension released ... that's when it all comes out, the true message behind those misunderstood words, and gestures, and looks. Joy ensues. Floods of it. Love abounds ... satisfaction is finally achieved! I wanted to show that process in a story ... how a misunderstanding can bring about so much anguish and heartache, then how the truth sets them free. Love stories are meant to end well. That's what I believe. I don't like investing my time, my heart, in a story only to have it end badly. Life hands out enough crap ... our books, the ones we write, the ones we read, they should bring us through all that. When we close the cover, sighing through that last line, we should be smiling. We should feel good. We should be wondering about the characters. What happened next? Leaving a reader wanting more ... that is a good story. A creation made that someone cares about. How marvelous for people to care about a fictional character. But, they are so real, those characters, they have come to life and they are real.
I have not even tried to publish Hidden Hearts. I wrote that for me. The idea drilling itself into my brain while on a work assignment in Tunisia. I was in the military then, the Air Force, and too busy to work toward being a published author. But the story had to be written. I did the entire thing in three weeks. The words flew along from my fingers to the key board. The movie, the drama, played out in my head and I couldn't write fast enough. Someday, I may bring it back out, polish it off, and send it in. But, much as I love romance, it wasn't the kind of book I wanted to write. I love to read them. Oh yes!! But there's more to me than that and I wanted that to come through in my writing.
What is my passion? Seeking the truth. The truth of life. Truth. Life is the biggest mystery and no one has solved it. Not really. Everyone has their own ideas about it. So many beliefs, so many religions. What to believe? I read about the concept of reincarnation and thought, that makes sense. To me, it makes sense. So I wrote No Matter What. This book is from my heart, from my soul. I truly believe that, no matter what, we all go to heaven. Not that I think of heaven as a particular place. I think of it as a state of being. Bliss. But when you look around the world, the people around you, even those you love and adore, you can't help but think that they aren't perfect. They have flaws. I don't know a single saint. Only saints deserve to go to heaven. I used to panic when I thought about that. I'm no saint. So was I to go to hell? I just couldn't believe such a thing. I'm not perfect but geez, do I really deserve to burn in the fires of hell for all eternity. Does anyone? Surely we weren't given this one chance ... this one life ... to become saints. I had to explore all that in my book. I went on a spiritual journey and I took it with a ten year old girl tortured by a past life she did not remember. I took that journey with several characters all involved in a truly horrific act. In the end ... we made it ... all of us ... to heaven. At least the intimation is there that such is the case. That's my book I want to be known for.
But then another story came to me. This one during my explorations with mediumship. If our spirits survive death, then wouldn't we want to continue communication with those we love who are still living life? Ghosts fascinate me. I lived in a haunted house when I was a child. Seven years we live there. I was always scared to death. And I wanted to understand. So, I wrote Be Still, My Love. What would happen, I thought, if a medium lost a loved one in a horrific accident. How would that affect her? Would her beliefs survive? I thought not. Not at first. But send her to a haunted resort, get her involved with a 40 year old tragedy and two grieving ghosts and she'd get her beliefs back surely? I wondered. I also couldn't resist giving her love again. That's where the romantic side of me came in. I love romance after all. I'm intrigued with ghosts and the idea of talking to the dead. The story practically wrote itself. I was so surprised in the end for I would never have guessed the story would go where it did, reveal what it did. I loved the journey.
So, here I am. Retired from the military and chasing my dream. I'm currently editing Be Still, My Love and I plan for it to be my debut book. This is the one that will find a publisher, and readers. And then, I will bring to the world ... No Matter What.
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